#. I inhabit an ~emotional universe~ where everything heart-felt..♥ ..is repressed (!)

ADDRION:
I removed the offerings just now..wondered if you had your fill D:
Its been almost 3 years since i've known you yet i still cannot forget everything you wanted me to.
You were the only godbrother i treated as biological. The only godbrother that disciplined me and tutored me and end up dying the way you didn't want me to. Why was it that you could teach me but not urself. Haha i still can remember your face..your ah beng hair..your crazy mole on ur scalp. U know(?) people say that means that ur intelligent but you always say it is obscene cos if you spike your hair..the hideous thing looks like a chao da (charred) pimple. Until now i can still laugh when i think about how you use red hairspray to spray it when you dyed your hair red. camouflage (!) and it really blended in.We always went to do the things i was afraid of, and do the things you were freaked out of..and do the things we never had and do the things that was our routine. You were the only bro that could make me score for maths..64/100 the highest i ever got..even my teacher asked about my tutor which i even said i paid 300 bucks to teach me. haas. when all i did was treat u to ur stupid chicken rice =..= ..3 bucks..lol..
i even realise now how much you love it..at least 5 times a week you have to eat it..if not you say you will feel "bu zi zai"..its impossible to write down all the things we did..if only i could..we fought together..until you got mad at me and took me out..i still did not thank you for changing my life..i still quarrelled with u..but you were goddamn easy to appease..chicken rice lor...^^ so funny..and you always told me in hokkien "guys all think with their ___ _____ (lj) dun be so stupid to give in..xiaomei you must be smart dun be like all the girls outside..fuck until they no price alr" so crude but true..And i remembered when i first leart to makeup..you were my guinea pig for eyeshadows and blusher..you always ended up looking like a tranny..:D but yah i loved that one 'tranny'..i could still rmbr the lame perfume you bought.you said it smelled like man..but i hated it so muich..lols..it smelt like cinnamon(!) and too strong vanilla larh bro!! HAHA and i remebered your beautiful geisha tattoo that i wish i can see again and i wish i could see u in formal attire..looks like hong kong underworld society type LOL... and guess what(?) I saw a rainbow just now.. i was thinking how much you loved rainbows..at least twenty out of your duno how many hundred plus photos last time used to feature rainbows..haiz.. and i still remembered how you did a science experiment last time that used to show the rainbow in the pic when you tilt the bottle.. and i still remembered how u make me see 7 colors in the rainbow not 6..Anyway i could never understand why u were always happy to see a rainbow..maybe now i do..i still have your "rainbow in a bottle" its so fake but anything from you brightens my day. seriously bro..ever since that day we made a pact..im still mad at you..for not allowing me to visit you cos you said it was "suay" but c'mon where got such things and you even said we cant even be friends if i cant forget u..but thats a fact i cant forget u..is that even possible(?) huh(?) u said u would go to hell..so i was not to be associated with u..omg ihy so much..you said it was stupid but you believed in reincarnation..lols..and i would see u in the next lifetime again..but will i ever really get to see you(?) never probably..but knowing you was really a blessing..no matter what people always say about you and no matter what ur rivals say bout u..u will still be the best to me n ur 'bros'..All thats left is memories...thx for making me delete everything...now i cant even post ur pic..argh!!!..u were an ass that did not believe in anything then why did you believe that i could forget you (???????????) you were selfish.and selfless.why are u so two-sided.but i still accpet you.cos u accepted me. IF ONLY I COULD SEE YOU ONE MORE TIME face to face..i would shorten my life by 30yrs..